


Limited Time

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, Drama, Michael Novotny Bashing, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-22
Updated: 2006-02-04
Packaged: 2018-12-26 21:11:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 16,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12067068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: 33-year-old Brian meets 21-year-old Justin, a dying cancer patient, in the hospital.  Brian wants Justin to live the rest of his life instead of just waiting to die.





	1. Ch. 1- Hospital

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

“Ms. Peterson,” Dr. Sanderson asked walking into the waiting room.

“Yes,” Lindsay replied standing up.

“Gus is going to be just fine.” Lindsay sighed. “He did have an unusually high temperature, but that’s normal when a child is sick with tonsillitis.”

“Oh, that’s what it was,” exclaimed Lindsay, “he had that when he was a baby, about two years ago. Should he get his tonsils out?”

“That’s what I came to ask you. He could have them out now, or we can wait and see if he gets sick again.”

“Well, its standard procedure right?”

The doctor nodded.

“Yes, everything is completely safe. Gus should only have to stay in the hospital a couple of days. He can get the operation tomorrow morning.”

“Well, I think we should let Gus have the surgery now. It might be more traumatic when he’s older.” 

“Then follow me and we can sign the papers.”

 

“Hey Brian, its Lindsay.” An hour later Lindsay was in the hospital lobby calling Gus’ father.

“Hi Lindsay,” Brian began, “what’s up.”

“Gus is getting his tonsils out tomorrow morning and I was wondering if you wanted to see him before the surgery.”

“Uh, surgery,” Brian shuddered thinking of it, “Yeah, I’ll come by tomorrow before work. Just tell me where I can find him.” Lindsay told Brian everything before going back to her son’s room to sit him before the operation.

 

Brian walked into the Children’s Ward looking for Gus’ room. When he finally found it he was surprised to see Melanie sitting next to his son.

“What are you doing here?” Brian asked accusingly.

“Sitting with my son,” Melanie replied her voice equally pleasant.

“I mean, where’s Lindsay?”

“At home.”

“Why?” Brian asked.

“She was here all night. So I came this morning so she could go home to shower and take a nap. She’s coming right before Gus leaves, and then I’m going to work.”

“Oh,” Brian understood.

“Hey, Sonny Boy,” Brian began, turning his attention to Gus.

“Hi dad!” Gus sounded too cheery.

“Why are you so happy?”

“I get to have ice cream.”

Brian looked confused for a moment. Melanie laughed.

“The hospital will give him a ton of ice cream to make his throat feel better,” Melanie stated.

“Oh, duh. I knew that.”

“What’s that dad?” Gus asked pointing to what Brian was holding.

“Here, it’s a stuffed animal and a balloon for you.”

“Thank you,” Gus said holding his arms open.

Brian handed Gus his presents and then excused himself saying he’ll be back to see Gus later because he had to go to work.

Brian decided to take a detour to the cafeteria to get some coffee on his way out of the hospital. ‘I’ll be damned if I ever found a coffee machine in this maze,’ Brian thought entering the room.

As soon as he got his coffee he was stunned to see a beautiful blonde sitting alone at one of the tables. Brian felling unusually cheerful and friendly, decided to say hi.

“Hi.” Brian could be so predictable.

“Hey,” was the only response out of the boy.

“Why are you sitting alone?” Brian asked curiously.

“Because I am,” the blonde snapped.

“Sorry, can I join you.”

“It’s a free country.”

“I’m Brian.” Brian held out his hand. The blonde stared at it for a second before reaching out and shaking the offered hand.

“Justin.”

“Can I ask what you’re doing in the hospital?” Brian pressed trying not to sound to nosy.

“I’m sick,” Justin wasn’t much of a talker.

“Okay.”

“Why are you here?” Justin asked though his voice was full of sarcasm.

“My son is getting his tonsils out.”

“Oh, how nice.” Justin stood up and left the cafeteria.

‘Damn he was full of energy.' Brian thought sarcastically, 'but he was sick.' He also thought he was going crazy talking to himself. ‘Well, maybe I’ll run into him later.’


	2. Ch. 2- Explanations

“Hey sonny boy,” Brian said soothingly walking to Gus’ bed. Brian had just gotten off work and was coming to see his son with no tonsils.

“Hi dad,” Gus replied, his voice still a little horse.

“Have you been eating your ice cream?” Brian asked pointing to an empty bowl.

“Yeah, but I got full.”

Brian just laughed. He talked for about another 20 minutes, then decided to leave. Maybe he could find the blonde he talked to earlier.

 

Brian didn’t want to search this long. He had been looking for Justin for the past hour. Brian wasn’t even sure why he was so obsessed in finding him again. He had gone to the front desk, but had a hard time trying to get Justin’s room number when he didn’t know the blonde’s last name. Brian then began to search every room he came across. He couldn’t figure out what to do. 

Finally turning a corner, Brian saw a young blonde man walking in the hallway. As soon as he was close enough, he decided to say hi.

“Justin?” Brian started, “hey.”

“Oh, it’s you,” Justin said rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, it’s me. Where are you heading too? I can walk with you.”

“To my room, why do you want to walk with me?”

“You said you were sick, right?” Brian asked.

“Yeah, so,” Justin answered

“Well, you probably don’t feel well. I’ll help you get to your room.”

“Look, Mr.?”

“Kinney,” Brian responded quickly.

“Mr. Kinney, I don’t need anyone’s help. I don’t need the nurse’s, the doctor’s, this fucking hospital’s, or my parent’s help. And I sure as hell don’t need yours.”

“Justin, you could make yourself sicker, or...”

“Listen!” Justin yelled, “This is my fifteenth time in a hospital in one year. I know what the hell I’m doing. And how the hell am I supposed to get sicker if I’m dying anyway!”

“You’re dying?” Brian was shocked, Justin looked so young.

“Yeah, I’m dying,” Justin replied coolly, “and it would be really great if you left me alone now.”

“Okay.”

Brian watched as Justin walked down the hallway. He began following him until Justin came to what looked like his room. Brian remembered the number. When he came to the elevator, he was surprised to see he was on the cancer floor. Brian decided to come back tomorrow and see the blonde. He would try to be more sensitive to his illness.

 

“Hey,” Brian said poking his head in the hospital room.

“What the fuck,” Justin cursed sitting up, “what are you doing here.”

“Smuggling you some food,” Brian replied holding out he bag of McDonalds.

“Oh my god,” Justin snatched the bag out of Brian’s hand, “real food. How did you know I liked McDonalds?”

“Instinct, all kids your age love that fast-food shit.”

“My age, kid, how old do you think I am?”

“Um, nineteen,” Brian guessed.

“Um, no, I’m twenty-one. Thank you very much.”

Brian smiled.

“So, I just brought you a bunch of shit from the menu. You can keep some for later.”

“Thanks,” Justin said truly happy, “okay, now that you’ve stolen my heart. What do you really want?”

“You have cancer?” Brian asked cautiously.

“Yeah, I’d tell you about it, but it’s confusing as hell.”

“Why’s that?”

“Oh, it’s just a big name, and really rare. And besides I don’t like to talk about it.”

“Sorry,” Brian apologized, “I had cancer last year.”

“What kind?”

“Testicular, I had surgery. Then some shitty radiation.”

“But they caught it on time right? Then they said, you’re going to be just fine and you have a good chance of living.”

“Yeah, that is what they said,” Brian responded confused, “why?”

“That is basically the opposite of what happened with me.”

“What happened?”

Justin sighed deeply putting down his burger.

“About two years ago I started getting sick. The only thing I could think of doing was going to the doctor. It took me forever to find one that took my insurance.”

“Why?” Brian pressed.

“I have this insurance provided by the state. Since I’m alone and I have little money, it was the only thing I could do. So, even though this doctor’s office accepted my insurance, they still treated me poorly.”

“What did they do?”

“Well,” Justin seemed to be getting upset, “I don’t know. They just treated me like I was poor; like I wasn’t worthy of their time. I was sick. I know that now. They gave me a few tests, told me I was fine and let me go on my way.”

“That’s just really bad. I wish you could’ve done something. Where were your parents?”

“My parents, yeah they kicked me out when I graduated. Something about not wanting a gay son and all that shit.”

“I’m sorry,” Brian hated when parents did that. He took his mother as a prime example.

“Well, anyway, I went to the doctor about three times. Each time they did a few different tests. Nothing was ever wrong. I didn’t do anything for about another month, but then I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided to go to a clinic. I was negative and had no STDs. I went again a few weeks later and I was still fine.”

“How long were you sick after that?” Brian was truly getting interested.

“About six months. That’s when I decided to go to the hospital for tests. I was sick, it was not going away. They started treating me like shit too. It was as if they didn’t care about the 19-year-old gay boy, who they thought was a hypochondriac. So, that lasted the next six months. I got tested a few times and nothing was ever wrong.”

“Damn, what happened after that?”

“Finally, they got a cancer specialist, which they should have gotten in the first place. He finally said I had cancer, and it was too late and I had about eight months to two years to live.”

“So, it’s been a year?” Brian hated what the doctors did.

“Yeah, it sucks. I’m just waiting to die now. I could die tomorrow or in an hour. It’s really depressing.”

“I’m so sorry, that sounds horrible. Do you have any other family or friends for support?”

“Nope,” Justin said sadly, “Not one person. My family doesn’t speak to me, my parents got to them first. I had a few friends in high school, and my best friend Daphne, but they’re all at college, away from me.”

Brian reached out and grabbed Justin’s hand. It was so soft, but also really cold.

“I couldn’t even imagine being in your situation. Are you always in the hospital?”

“No,” Justin was speaking with his mouth full, “this is my fifteenth time, remember.”

“Oh, right. Hey, when you get out, maybe we can go out together.”

“You mean, like a date?”

“Uh,” Brian was stammering, “sure, whatever you want.”

“Well, if you really want to. I would love to go out with you.”

Brian smiled; he leaned and kissed the blonde on the forehead. Justin was beaming. He never got attention. No one gave him a second look. He couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital even more now.


	3. Ch. 3- The Date

Justin was released from the hospital two days after meeting Brian. Both days Brian had come to see him. They had tried to decide what do to on their date. Justin thought maybe they should go out dinner at a nice place, and then he would figure out after that where they would to go.

Justin walked into his small apartment and went to his room. He put the things he had with him at the hospital away. He was glad the hospital let him wear his own clothes when he got sick. Justin used to whine saying that you guys are fucking killing me and you won’t even let me wear what I want.

He had to do some laundry before it got late; he needed something to wear for Brian. Justin found his bag of quarters in his dresser and headed to the small Laundromat in his building. 

After getting ready and cleaning a little, Brian finally showed up. Justin answered the door and took in the beautiful sight.

“Hey,” Brian said leaning down and kissing Justin’s cheek.

“Hey,” Justin responded snaking his arms around Brian’s waist.

“So, how are you feeling?” 

“A little better, but that’s how it always is. In a few weeks I’ll be back in the hospital feeling miserable.”

“Well,” Brian smiled, “let us take your mind off that for one night.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

 

Brian and Justin exited the restaurant. Justin practically smiled the whole time; he was having the time of his life.

“So,” Brian started as he put an arm around Justin’s shoulders, “have you decided where you want to go now?”

“Damn, I haven’t been to Liberty since before I got sick.”

“Oh, we can go there. Where did you want to go?”

“Well,” Justin yawned, “I’m not as full of energy as I used to be. We can just go to Woody’s. I loved that place.”

“Um, sure,” Brian stuttered. He wasn’t sure if any of his friends were going to be there. And if they were, there was no doubt in his mind they wouldn’t shut up about his so-called date.

“Great,” Justin said putting his arm around Brian’s waist.

 

15 minutes later, Brian and Justin were walking down Liberty Avenue. It wasn’t until now that Brian noticed how weak Justin was. He walked slowly and gripped on Brian for support. Justin was also very pale and thin, despite how much he ate at the restaurant. Brian figured he lost a lot of the weight by vomiting when he got sick. 

When they finally walked in Woody’s, Brian immediately searched the room for evidence of his friends. Sure enough, at one of that tables sat Michael, Ben, Ted, and Emmett.

“Shit,” Brian muttered under his breath.

“Hmm, what did you say?” Justin asked looking up at Brian.

“N-nothing, why don’t we sit at the bar?”

“Okay.”

“Do you want anything?” Brian asked gesturing for the bartender to come over.

“Just a beer,” Justin coughed, “I won’t have more than two.”

“Two beers,” Brian told the bartender.

They weren’t sitting there for more that 10 minutes before they heard an ever annoying, “Briaaan,” from across the room.

Without turning around Brain said a, “Hey Mikey,” when Michael approached them at the bar.

“Brian,” Michael whined, “why didn’t you come and sit with us?”

“Because I’m perfectly happy sitting here.”

“Who’s that?” Michael asked pointing at Justin.

Sighing loudly Brian answered, “Mikey, Justin. Justin, Mikey.”

“Hi,” Justin said shyly.

“Hi,” Michael responded confused, “what’s he doing here?”

“We are on a date,” Justin almost snapped.

Brian tried not to choke on his beer. He did want to be on the date, he just didn’t want Michael to make a fuss. ‘Three, two, one,’ Brian counted in his head.

“What?!,” Michael screeched. And by the look on Justin’s face, it didn’t sound too good.

“We’re on a date Michael,” Brian repeated.

“Since when do you go on fucking dates?”

“Since I asked Justin and he said yes,” Brian answered, “now why don’t you go back to your hubby, and Ted and Emmett. I’m sure you have a story to tell them.”

Michael huffed as he walked away. 

“Who was that?” Justin asked curiously.

“That’s Michael, he’s my best friend. He’s kind of protective and nosy.”

“I’ll say.”

Brian smiled; he leaned over and gave Justin yet another kiss on the cheek.

 

Later that night at the diner, Michael was explaining Brian’s date. They left Woody’s so Michael could tell them in a more quiet area. Ben, Ted, and Emmett were listening carefully. Not to mention, Michael’s mother, Debbie, was also listening.

“So?” Ben asked, “Who was that guy?”

“Brian’s date.”

They all gasped.

“Since fucking when, did Brian start dating?” Debbie asked looking at everyone.

“Ma,” Michael began, “That’s what I asked him. He just said ‘Since I asked Justin and he said yes.’”

“Well, well,” Ted added, “seems as Brian has met someone.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Michael said hurriedly, “you should’ve seen that guy. So pale and skinny. I bet he was just some tweaked-out-twinkie that Brian asked out when he was drunk or high.”

“But it’s not like Brian to actually go trough with that date,” Emmett stated.

“Maybe he’s finally feeling guilty about things,” Ben put in.

“No, not Brian,” Michael said shaking his head, “I’m going over to the loft tomorrow morning and to have a talk with him. I bet I can get the story on this kid.”

They all nodded. What Michael didn’t tell them was that he had seen Brian put his arms around the boy and kiss him on the cheek. That Justin kid didn’t even seem like a trick, twinkie, or tweaked at all. He looked sick. Michael didn’t know if it was out of anger, frustration, or jealously that made him exaggerate. Anyway, he would get his answers tomorrow morning.


	4. Ch. 4- Night, Then Morning

Brian walked Justin upstairs to his apartment. Justin had a great time with Brian, after Woody’s they just walked around. When they got to the jeep, they drove around, but finally ended up at Justin’s place.   
Walking up stairs and holding Brian’s hand, Justin began to feel nervous. He really wanted to sleep with him, but it had been forever since Justin had sex. Justin figured he’d be ready soon. 

“Here we are,” Justin said taking out his key.

Brian stood behind Justin and put his arms around him. He could tell Justin didn’t want to fuck tonight, and for some reason, he didn’t care. He just liked being with him and holding him.

“I like your apartment,” Brian told Justin walking in. It was small and cluttered, but all and all, it was nice and cozy. 

“You’re kidding me right?” Justin asked shocked, “I hate this fucking apartment.”

“Then, why do you live here?” 

“It’s the only place I can afford.”

“Oh,” Brian understood, “You have a job?”

“Yeah, I work at this restaurant. My uncle owns it, I mean, I call him my uncle. He’s just a family friend. But it’s good, you know when I get sick, he still pays me. He doesn’t really give me the time of day, but he still protects me.”

“Well, you’re somewhat taken care of.”

“Like I said, he feels the need to protect me. I don’t know why, he doesn’t speak to me.”

“Okay,” Brian sighed, “this uncle of yours, what was his name?”

“Jon.”

“Did your parents get to him first?”

“Yeah,” Justin replied, “but I already worked there. He loved me, I was his favorite. We were really close. Now, I’m just another employee, aside from paying me when I’m sick. So, yeah, he treats me differently.”

Brian stood up from where he was sitting on the chair and joined Justin on the couch. He wrapped Justin in his arms and held him tight.

“From now on Justin, I will take care of you.” Justin’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m going to be the one protecting you.”

“Why?” Justin asked sniffling. He had asked the question before he realized he was speaking.

“I don’t want you to stress over your life. I know you have cancer, and you’re probably going to die. But, still, I want to be there for you now. If you want, I’m not saying that you have to, but if you want, you can quit your job.” Justin was staring at him with a shocked expression. “I’ll pay for this apartment and everything else. I want you to be here as long as you can. And whatever I can do to help, I’m going to do.”

Justin looked blankly at Brian with his mouth hanging open. Justin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Someone actually cared.

“Why do you want me here?” Justin didn’t want to ask, but he wanted Brian to tell him everything.

“Justin,” Brian cut himself off, “I, uh, I...”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Justin smiled from ear-to-ear.

“Yes!” Justin screamed, “Of course!”

Justin grabbed Brian by the sides of his face and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. The kissed deepened and they both settled with each other on the couch. After a minute, they finally pulled apart.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” Justin whispered softly to Brian.

“Justin, we don’t have too...”

Justin cut him off, “No I don’t want to fuck. I mean, not yet, I’m still sick. But we can eventually or soon.”

Brian just laughed. Justin led Brian into his bedroom. The only things that occupied the room were a small dresser, an easel, a nightstand with a small lamp and alarm clock, and a full size mattress on the floor.

“Sorry, I don’t have a real bed.” 

“You don’t have to apologize, I don’t mind.”

Justin turned around and stripped out of his jeans and shoes. Only in a t-shirt and underwear, he crawled in bed. Brian did the same and crawled in next to Justin. He pulled Justin close to him and made them spoon. Justin couldn’t remember the last time he felt that warm in his bed.

 

The next morning an annoyed Michael knocked on the loft door. After knocking for almost five minutes, he grabbed his spare key and walked in. Looking around the vacant loft, Michael tried to determine where Brian was. Suddenly he remembered why he had come to talk with Brian. That kid, Brian must be with Justin.

 

A Little while later, Michael walked into the diner looking for his mom. 

“Ma,” Michael yelled.

“One second honey,” Debbie finished pouring some coffee for a couple of tables and walked over to Michael, “what did you need?”

“Has Brian come in this morning yet?”

“Yeah, he did actually come in about an hour ago at seven, why?”

“Was he alone?” Michael asked.

“No, he had a very nice boy with him.”

“Justin?”

“Huh?” Debbie questioned, “Oh yeah, he’s the one you were talking about yesterday. It was Justin, and I’ll tell you what he is a sweetheart. I’ve only known him for an hour, but I love that kid to death.”

“Did he look tweaked at all to you?”

“Jesus Michael,” Debbie snapped, “heavens no. They said he wasn’t feeling well and after breakfast he was going back home to bed.”

Michael just nodded. He was sick of chasing Brian everywhere. It was only eight o’clock. At noon, he would go to Vanguard and see if Brian was there. Then maybe they would go out to lunch.

 

Justin was lying in bed at home. When he came back from breakfast with Brian he went immediately sleep. Brian was right. He should quit his job, he was supposed to be at work at one, but there was no way he could go in. Especially since the first thing he did when he got home was vomit. Justin figured that one out of every five meals came back up to visit him.   
He was just about to fall asleep again when the phone rang. Justin looked at his clock and saw it was 1:30. He sat straight up and answered the phone, he was supposed to call and quit around noon.

“Hello,” Justin said answering the phone.

“Justin, where are you?”

“Oh, hi Jon,” Justin responded hearing that it was his boss, “I’m at home. I’m sick. I’ve been in bed all morning and I’ve also been throwing up.”

“Justin, we’ve been through this. I’ll let you keep getting paid but only when you’re in the hospital. I can’t afford it when you decided to stay home when you’re supposed to come in.”

“Jon!” Justin screamed, “I’m dying, I have cancer. Can’t you at least take pity on me? Well, actually I don’t care anymore, I quit. I don’t need your fake attempts to help me. I’ve found someone more than willing to protect me.”

“Justin, you don’t have to quit.”

“Yes I do. How many cancer patients do you know that still work? Well, Brian said that I shouldn’t work, so I won’t. So I’m sorry Jon, I don’t need you’re protection anymore. And when I do die, you don’t have to morn. Goodbye, Jon.”

Justin hung up and pulled the blankets over his head. He was asleep in minutes.

* * *

Thanks for all the sweet reviews! And I want to say hi to all my new friends on the site. You know who you are!


	5. Ch. 5- Questions and Answers

Michael walked into Vanguard and asked the woman at the front desk if he could see Brian. The woman paged Cynthia, after talking for a moment she looked up and nodded at Michael.

Michael walked into Brian’s office. Brian was on the phone and didn’t see him at first. As soon as Brian hung up, Michael made his move.

“How’s Justin?”

“What?” Brian gasped, he looked almost scared, “Christ, Michael what are you doing here?”

“Asking you a question; how’s Justin?” Michael repeated.

“Fine,” Brian replied and looked at the clock, “he should be sleeping right now.”

“Why should he be sleeping?”

“He wasn’t feeling well this morning.”

“This morning, but you weren’t in your loft this morning.”

“No, I stayed at Justin’s place.”

“Did you fuck him?” Michael just had to ask.

“Actually no, he was too weak to, so I just slept there.”

“Okay, you didn’t fuck him. But why did you stay there anyway?”

Brian was getting tired of all of Michael’s persistent questions.

“I stayed because he asked me. What’s with the third degree?”

“I was just wondering Brian, because, well I don’t know, you are acting like an ass!” 

“What!” Brian scoffed, “Me! Look at you, running around asking all these questions. What the fuck is your problem?”

Michael looked at Brian as if he was going to rip out his eyes.

“My problem is you. Going out on a date, Brian, fuck, you-you just don’t do that. And staying at his place, and not even fucking him. It just doesn’t seem like you.”

“So the fuck what, you think I can’t go over someone’s house without fucking them. Well I can. Anyway, I told you, he was sick.”

“What is with all the ‘he was sick’ excuses,” Michael accused using quotations with his fingers, “you are acting like he’s dying or something.”

Brian immediately turned away with a guilty look on his face. Michael just stared at him unable to understand what it meant.

“What’s going on Brian? Is he really sick?”

“Yes Michael, and if you want any more answers, you are going to have to ask him.”

 

Michael walked into the diner the next morning. He was coming to meet Ted and Emmett for breakfast, since Ben had decided to get to work early.

Right away he saw Justin sitting at the counter talking to his mom. He approached them.

“No Debbie, really I don’t need a job,” Justin again told Debbie.

“What do you mean you don’t need a job?” Debbie asked before Michael could himself.

“Brian is paying for everything.”

“What!” Michael screamed.

“Hi, honey,” Debbie smiled, before frowning hearing her son’s tone.

Justin turned to look at Michael.

“Brian...is...paying...for...everything,” Justin said extra slowly to Michael.

“Why the fuck is he?”

“Because he told me to quit my job, he said it wasn’t good for me to work with all the stress I had anyway. I really didn’t want to, but he insisted he would pay for everything.”

Michael sat in the stool next to Justin. Debbie went to help other customers.

“Why do I keep hearing that you are sick? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Justin looked scared, he swallowed hard.

“Well,” Justin began slowly, “I have cancer. Brian met me in the hospital.”

“Cancer, huh,” Michael mocked, “well, I can’t wait until you go bald.”

“The thing is Michael, I’m not.”

“Oh, radiation, old fashioned medicine, what is it?”

“Nothing,” Justin growled.

“What do you mean nothing?”

“I’m not getting any treatment; I’m going to die Michael.”

Michael looked hurt for about a second, then pleased.

“Oh, know I see,” Michael stated.

“See what?”

“The only reason Brian is with you is because you’ll only be in his life for a while. As soon as you die, and believe me, I hope it’s soon, Brian will be so over you.”

Justin’s eyes filled with tears. He stood up and ran out of the diner, leaving Michael with a smug look on his face.

 

Justin walked into his apartment and ran straight to the bathroom. He threw up everything he had eaten that day. Afterward, he went to his bedroom and went to sleep.

About an hour later Brian came in using the key that Justin gave him. Justin had been reluctant, but Brian was the only person he knew.

“Justin!” Brian called once entering the loft.

Brian didn’t hear him answer, so he decided to look. He found Justin in his bed, sound asleep. Brian smiled and reached out to pet Justin’s head. He was shocked to feel it incredibly warm. Immediately Brian ran to the bathroom to get a cool wash cloth. He called Justin’s doctor and he said to bring Justin back to the hospital.

Brian knelt next to Justin and shook him lightly. Justin’s eyes fluttered open, no sooner than seeing Brian face did he start to cry.

“Justin, what’s wrong?” Brian asked his voice full of love and concern.

“Michael said that...” Justin trailed off.

“Fuck Michael, we need to get you to the hospital.”

“Okay.”

“Can you stand?”

Justin didn’t answer, just stood up and began to walk slowly. He almost made it out of the bedroom before stumbling into the hallway.

Brian walked over to Justin and picked him up. He didn’t care if the blonde complained. He didn’t want anything to hurt Justin more that he was already.

 

Brian was pacing in a waiting room near where they had taken Justin. The doctors told him that what was happening wasn’t unusual, and they should have Justin okay in no time.

He had remembered Justin saying something about Michael; so on their way over here, he called him.

“Brian,” Michael spoke softly approaching Brian. 

“Hey,” Brian replied. 

Michael was shocked. Not only did Brian look worried as hell, but just plain awful, and not to mention, looking definitely like he had been crying. 

“What happened?” 

“Justin was burning up when I found him. His doctor told me to take him here. I’m just scared; no one is exactly sure when Justin is supposed to die. I don’t want it to be now.”

Brian frowned and put his head in his hands. Michael, on the other hand, smiled, maybe Justin would die sooner.

* * *

I did some research about cancer, and I couldn’t find anything to fit what I wanted. I am making everything up as I go along. Justin is just going to be sick, and he’s just going to die because they caught it too late. And Britt, here’s a mini dedication to a Justin suffering chapter and for being my beta when the other twin was too tired.


	6. Ch. 6- Moving In

Justin sat up in bed and coughed with all his might. ‘Why the hell is my throat so dry every time I’m in the hospital?’ Justin thought. He began looking around for his water, when he saw Michael.

“What the FUCK are you doing here,” Justin asked him.

“Brian told me to wait here while he went home to get an overnight bag for you and him,” Michael answered.

“Why did he ask you?”

“Because I’m his best friend and someone that he trusts, that’s why.”

“Sure, Michael, I bet you didn’t poison me while I was sleeping, or unplug anything.”

“Look, Justin,” Michael began slowly; “I don’t like you at all. You seem rude and annoying. And as much as I want you be out of my life, I will never do anything to hurt you myself.”

“No, but you’re going to just watch me die.”

“Depends if I’m around,” Michael answered.

Justin just glared at him. He reached and grabbed the pitcher of water and poured himself a glass. They watched TV for about a half an hour before Brian came back.

“Hey,” Brian said walking through the door. He walked over to Justin and gave him a kiss, then sat on the side of the bed not by Michael.

“Hey,” Justin responded grabbing Brian’s hand.

“Feeling better?” Brian asked rubbing his hands through Justin’s hair. 

“Yeah, but who the fuck cares. I’m dying anyway.”

Michael rolled his eyes. 

“Justin,” Brain started sternly, “I’m sick and tired of hearing you whine about it. I care, okay. I know what you’re up against and I know the consequences. The thing is that I don’t want you sulk about it. I want you to be happy; I want you to at least try for extra days instead of passing them off as unnecessary.”

“But Brian, it’s too...”

“I know it’s hard,” Brian cut him off, “but I also know it’ll be hard for me when I loose you. Please don’t be selfish about it.”

Justin stared at him with wide eyes. Michael smirked.

“Okay Brian. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. You’re helping me and I should appreciate that.”

Brian kissed him again. Michael was pissed; he thought Brian was telling him something else. He couldn’t believe his best friend of half his life was falling in love with some dying kid. 

 

Justin and Brian walked into the loft. Brian put Justin’s bags in the bedroom, while Justin looked around.

“Wow, Brian this place is great.”

“Thanks.”

“So, are you going to just get rid of my furniture?”

“Well, if you really want something we’ll bring it here, and then give the rest to the Good Will. I was under the impression that you didn’t like your things.”

“Oh I don’t. I was just wondering,” Justin answered with a smile. He couldn’t believe Brian had asked him to move in with him. The doctors had suggested that someone be with him at all time or Justin could die waiting for help. Therefore, Brian said Justin could come live with him.

“Justin?” Brian asked.

“Hmm?”

“Did you want to go out to Babylon?”

“Babylon? You really think I could, I mean, do you think I’ll be okay?”

“Sure, it’s just a harmless night club. Besides, I’ll be there with you. If anyone, anyone, bothers you, just tell me and I’ll beat the shit out of him.”

Justin laughed, “Okay Brian.”

 

Justin and Brian walked into the thumping club. Brian pulled Justin in the direction of the bar. Brian was glad not to see anyone there. He didn’t know why, but he got the feeling that Michael didn’t like Justin much.

“What do you want to drink?” Brian asked.

“I’ll just have a coke or something,” Justin responded a loudly over the louder music.

Brian order their drinks. After watching the dancers for a bit, Brian decided he wanted to be a part of it. He pulled Justin to the dance floor.

“Brian I haven’t danced in a long time.”

“It’s okay, just follow my lead.”

Justin ended up following his own lead after decided Brian sucked at dancing. 

“You’re a good dancer,” Brian told Justin putting his hands on his hips.

“Thanks,” Justin replied, “you suck.”

“Thanks.”

After dancing for a while, Justin convinced Brian to go to Woody’s to play pool. Brian hoped with all his might that he wouldn’t run into his friends. 

 

Brian had been teaching Justin how to play pool at Woody’s, now they were at a table enjoying some snacks.

“Did you want some more pretzels Justin?” Brian asked picking up the empty basket.

“No, I’m getting full.”

“Hey, guys,” Emmett said walking up to them, Ted was with him.

“Hey,” Brian and Justin said at the same time.

“Can I talk to you for a second Brian?” Ted asked gesturing for Brian to follow.

When Ted and Brian walked out of Woody’s, Michael was there waiting.

“He told me to come get you,” Ted told Brian then left.

“Hey Mikey,” Brian joked.

“Don’t you ‘hey Mikey’ me.”

“What’s your problem now?”

“Justin.”

“Again,” Brian sighed dramatically, “listen Michael. I care about him. Yes, he is my boyfriend and yes he moved in with me. And yes I know it’s fast, especially for me, but he needs someone and I’m the only one he has. Can’t you understand that?”

“It’s not you. It’s him. He’s using you Brian.”

Brian almost laughed.

“What?”

“I said he’s using you. He’s probably not even that sick. I bet he’s just a hypochondriac that wants attention. And you’re so gullible, that you’ve fallen for it too.”

“Michael, you’re not making any sense. I’ve talked with his doctors and they’ve all said he has cancer.”

“What if he made himself sick on purpose?”

“Michael,” Brian sighed and rolled his eyes, “you can’t give yourself cancer, it’s not a virus.”

“Fine Brian, don’t believe me. I’m just trying to protect you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I don’t need your help Michael,” Brian told Michael as he walked away.

* * *

I know Michael is a little mean, but I promise it’s just jealously. When Brian gets further into it, Michael will accept it more.


	7. Ch. 7- Finally

A few days later Brian was working on his computer and Justin was taking a nap. Brian was intently looking at the screen at some figures. He didn’t notice Justin behind him and he also didn’t notice Justin snaking his arms around Brian’s shoulders.

“Hey,” Justin whispered in Brian’s ear.

“Hey,” Brian responded.

Justin started to lick Brian’s neck and rub his chest underneath his shirt. Brian was enjoying the attention from Justin, but still wasn’t sure if Justin was completely ready.

“Justin?” 

“Huh?”

“Are you seducing me?”

“Maybe, is it working?”

“Do you want it to work?”

“Why do you keep answering a question with a question?”

“Well, do you want it to work?”

“Yes.”

“Then come on,” Brian said grabbing Justin’s hand and pulling him towards the bedroom.

They stood at the foot of the bed facing each other. Brian pulled off Justin’s shirt noticing how thin he was, but he still couldn’t help think that he was hot. Justin put his arms around Brian’s neck and started to kiss him. Brian reached into Justin’s pants and grabbed his ass. Justin moaned and began to rub their crotches together. 

Brian smiled and pulled off his own shirt. Justin began to rub Brian’s chest. It was so soft. Brian gently sat them down and unbuttoned his and Justin pants. He lied Justin down and got on top. 

They made out for a while. Finally, Brian pulled away. He and Justin were panting like crazy. Brian stood up, removed the rest of his clothes, and then did the same to Justin. Justin was happy when he saw Brian smile at him naked. 

Brian crawled back on Justin. Brian humped Justin and sucked on his neck.

“Brian, please,” Justin begged, “fuck me.”

Brian stretched to reach the condoms and the lube.   
He kneeled in front of Justin. Justin automatically put his legs around Brian’s waste.

“You’ve done this before?” Brian asked as he warmed the lube in his fingers.

“Yeah.”

“When?” Brian kept asking Justin questions. He shoved one finger inside Justin, Justin seemed to   
enjoy it.

“I lost my virginity when I was...ahhhh....sixteen. I’ve had a few boyfriends....ahhhhh....but I haven’t been with anybody since I found out.”

“Oh,” Brian replied slipping in another finger. He was about to add a third, but Justin began to push back.  
Brian put the condom on his dick and shifted closer to Justin. Justin smiled when he felt the head of Brian dick at his entrance. Justin thought he would never be able to have sex again. But now, since he met Brian, he was doing it.

Brian pushed in the head. Justin’s face flinched mildly. He adjusted himself, and pushed the rest of the way in. Justin’s loud groans filled the room.

“Are you okay?” Brian asked holding still.

“I’m fine,” Justin assured, “great actually, don’t stop.”

Brian pulled out and pushed back in. Justin groaned again. Brian loved fucking him, Justin was loud, and he loved it. Brian had tried to go slow, but Justin kept begging. 

“Harder...faster....deeper,” Justin pleaded, he couldn’t get enough. 

Brian panted trying to meet Justin’s demands. Brian bent down and licked Justin’s neck up to his cheek. Justin turned his head and almost violently kissed Brian. 

“Justin!” Brian screamed when the blond clenched his ass.

“You like that?” Justin asked doing it again.

Brian gasped, he was going crazy. Justin was making him crazy. He tried to watch Justin, he looked amazing under him. But he couldn’t keep his eyes open the pleasure was too much. 

“Brian, I’m gonna...” Justin couldn’t finish the last sentence. Brian grabbed his cock and started to pull.   
Brian could feel Justin’s balls tensing up and pulled harder. 

“Ahhhhhhh!” Brian moaned as he filled the condom deep within Justin.

“Brian!” Justin groaned as he splashed his own cum between both of them.

Brian collapsed on top of Justin. Justin put his arms around the brunette and held him tight. When their breathing became normal, Brian pulled out. He stood up and went to his bathroom. 

When he came back, Justin was lying on his side and had the blankets pulled up to his chest. Brian smiled when Justin lifted the blankets. He crawled and immediately Justin lied on his chest. He put his arms around the blonde. 

“That was great,” Justin sighed, “I think you were the best I’ve ever had.”

“Thanks,” Brian responded. He’s heard that many, many times before. But smiled nonetheless, since it came from Justin.

Justin began to rub Brian’s chest with his finger. 

“Brian?” 

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

Brian tried not to make a face. He opened his eyes and saw Justin beautiful icy blues staring intently back. He didn’t know how to respond to Justin. Before he could think a second longer, Justin’s lips were on his own. 

“I just wanted you to know.”

Justin lied back down. Brian pulled his arms tight around Justin. He kissed directly on top of the blonde head. He didn’t know if he loved Justin. But he did know that he cared a lot about him. Why else would he be paying so much attention to someone he just met? He just wanted to be with Justin, forever. Brian fell asleep with a sleeping Justin in his arms.

A couple of hours later, at seven in the morning, Brian was awoken by persistent knocking at his door. Justin sat up and began to cough violently. Brian got up and grabbed his jeans. He slipped them on and walked to the kitchen. The knocking was still going on.

“One minute!” Brian yelled. He grinned when the knocking stopped. He grabbed a water bottle and gave it to Justin, still in bed. 

Brian opened the door and saw Michael standing there.

“What?” Brian asked impatiently.

“You said you’d meet me for breakfast,” Michael answered trying to look over the taller man’s shoulder.

“Since when did I...” Brian stopped when he heard Justin throwing up, “one second.”

“Justin, are you okay?” Brian questioned walking closer to the bedroom.

Justin walked out of the bathroom looking exhausted.

“I’m fine. I just get sick in the morning sometimes. Can you guys talk quieter? I need at least eight hours of sleep, or I’ll be sick all day.”

“Sure,” Brian replied. Justin walked back into the bedroom.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” 

“He lives here now.” 

“What!” Michael yelled.

“Shhhh,” Brian hissed, “Michael, Justin is not feeling well. Can we talk about this later? I promise we’ll BOTH meet you at the diner around one. Okay?”

“Fine.”

Michael growled as he left the loft. He tried to realize what Brian was really doing with the blond.


	8. Ch. 8- Calming Down

Justin was taking a shower and Brian was cleaning up the kitchen. When Brian heard the water turn off and he walked into the bathroom. 

“Okay, are you hungry?” Brian asked as Justin dried off.

“Yeah, a little,” Justin answered.

“Well, I promised Michael that we’d meet him at the diner at one.”

“As in, both of us?” 

“Yeah, you don’t mind do you?”

“Well,” Justin began.

“What?”

“I don’t think Michael likes me very much.”

“What do you mean,” Brian asked confused.

“Well, for starters, he said he hoped I’d die soon.”

“What!”

“Then,” Justin continued, “He told me that the only reason you’re with me is because I’m going to die soon anyway, so you’ll only be in a relationship for a little while.”

“I don’t even understand what the fuck he means by that.”

“I didn’t believe him, but then something in me just couldn’t help think that was the truth.”

“Justin, yes, I’m not a relationship type guy, but I’m your boyfriend because I want to. And because I’m…in love with you,” Brian let out slowly.

“You are?” Justin asked perking up.

“Yeah.”

Brian leaned down and gave Justin a passionate kiss.

 

At one thirty Brian and Justin walked into the diner. Michael, looking pissed, sat at the back booth.

“Hey Mikey,” Brian greeted and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Justin scooted in the booth and Brian sat next to him. For the first time Brian noticed Michael’s deadly look at Justin.

“Michael, I have a question for you?” Brian asked pretended to sound cheery.

“What?”

“Well, Justin told me the funniest thing.”

Justin gave Brian a pleading look, which Brian ignored, as Michael stared at him confused.

“Okay,” Michael urged.

“He said you told him that you hoped he died soon. Isn’t that funny. Then something about how I’m only with him because I know the relationship won’t last long.”

“Brian I didn’t mean…”

“I know what you mean Michael,” Brian interrupted, “and I’m sorry you feel that way, I really am. But I love Justin and whether or not he’s around for a long time, which I want him to be, I’m still going to be with him.”

Michael looked pissed and then shot a look at Justin. 

“I still think he’s using you,” Michael tried to say quietly.

“What!” Justin yelled sitting up.

“He said, he thinks you’re using me,” Brian repeated grabbing Justin’s hand.

“I am not. You have no idea how shitty I was to Brian when I first met him. I didn’t let him even talk to me, but then I got to know him and fell in love with him. I’m sorry you can’t see that!”

Michael looked at his plate. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how childish I sounded. I guess, deep down, I was wondering why Brian would want to be with you, when he was never with me.”

“Michael you know that’ll never happen.”

“I know,” Michael assured, “I really do.”

“I was hoping that we could all be friends. I don’t have any.”

For the first time Michael looked at Justin with care in his eyes.

“Well, if you can forgive me, I’ll try to be your friend.”

Justin smiled and squeezed Brian’s hand.

“Great, everyone’s happy!” Brian shouted sarcastically.

“Hey, Justin?” Michael asked.

“Huh?”

“You left this at the diner the other day. It’s a sketchpad.”

“Oh, thank you,” Justin smiled.

“They are good. Hey! I just got this idea. How about you draw me some pictures of superheroes and I can hang them on the wall in my comic book shop. I’ll pay you.”

“I don’t really need the money, but it sounds fun. So, I guess if you really want me to.”

“Great!” Michael exclaimed.

During this, Brian had been looking at the sketchpad. 

“These are really great Justin,” Brian said putting down the pad.

“Thanks.” Justin had gotten a lot of compliments, but Brian’s meant the most.

“Maybe you can talk to Lindsay. She works at an art gallery. Do you have any other work?”

“Yeah,” Justin responded, “at home in some boxes we haven’t unpacked yet.”

“Good we can go see her tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Justin answered. He was happy Michael understood that he was an idiot.

 

“What are you doing?” Justin asked Brian who was on the computer.

“Searching for something on the Internet,” Brian replied.

“What?”

“Hospitals.”

“What for?”

“Well, for example, there is this hospital in Philadelphia, St. Mary’s. It has an advanced cancer clinic, and I was hoping that I could convince you to go. They have a lot of success stories of patients who thought they had no chance.”

“You want me to go to see if there is a cure?” Justin asked.

“Yeah.”

“Why, so you can have me longer?”

“No,” Brian explained, “I do want to have you longer, but this is about us. I want to have a life with you Justin. I want to grow old together. Maybe have a family someday. Don’t you want that?”

“Yes, but not for a while. Every doctor has told me that no matter what, it’s too late.”

“This is what this hospital’s for,” Brian repeated.

“So you want me to go there?”

“I want us to go there. Get some tests done and some treatments. They are really enthusiastic about curing their patients.”

“Okay,” Justin smiled, “we’ll go. Maybe they can fix me. I don’t want to get excited. I’ve had too many disappointments to live through to have one more.”

“Don’t worry Justin; I’ll be there for you.”

“I know you will.”

Justin sat on Brian’s lap and read about the hospital with him. Brian whispered in his ear. About their future, having a house and a family. He told Justin about Lindsay and Gus, and that he wanted Justin to meet them. Justin started to cry. He’s never had this much before. He hoped that Brian was right. Justin was putting his life in Brian’s hands.

“I love you,” Justin told Brian when he found himself being placed in his bed.

“I love you too,” Brian answered.

Brian crawled to the other side of the bed and scooped Justin in his arms. Justin sighed and thanked whoever it was that made Brian come into his life. It was the first in a long time; he had happiness and especially, hope.


	9. Ch. 9- Decisions

This chapter is dedicated to [teeneyree](http://www.bjfic.net/viewuser.php?uid=1045). Thanks for the great review!

* * *

Justin walked with Brian up to the door of the small house. 

“I promise they’ll love you,” Brian assured Justin.

Justin managed a smile and gripped Brian’s hand.

“Hi Brian,” Lindsay said as she opened the door and then gave Brian a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey Linz, this is Justin.”

“Hi Justin.”

They walked into the house and went to sit on the couch.

“Justin do you want some water?” Lindsay asked in a caring voice.

“Sure, but only if it’s bottled water. It’s better for me.”

“Okay.”

Lindsay came back with water for Justin and sat down on the chair near the couch. Just then, Melanie came down the stairs with Gus in her arms.

“Daddy!” Gus squealed and jumped out of Melanie’s grasp and ran over to Brian.

“Hey Sonny Boy,” Brian smiled, “I’d like you to meet someone. This is Justin.”

“Hi Justin,” Gus said shyly.

“Hey Gus, your daddy has told me so much about you.”

Gus smiled and started to play with Brian’s tie.

“So Justin,” Melanie started, “how long have you and Brian been seeing each other.”

“Just as few months,” Justin responded, “we met on one of my stays in the hospital.”

“Well, I’m glad that Brian finally pursued a boyfriend,” Lindsay cheered, “I guess you caught his eye. I can see why, I even think you’re adorable.”

“Thanks,” Justin grinned trying not to blush from compliment from a woman, even if she was a lesbian.

“I agree,” Melanie added smiling.

“Stop hitting on my boyfriend,” Brian joked and started to tickle Gus.

Justin smiled and laid his head on Brian’s shoulder.

An hour later Justin was sitting on the floor playing with Gus and Brian was watching. Lindsay and Melanie were in the kitchen making some food.

“Come and eat,” Lindsay in the kitchen and the three boys stood up and went to the table. 

After eating lunch, everyone sat at the table and talked. Brian told them he was going to take Justin to the hospital soon to see if they could find a cure. The girls were happy that Justin might have a chance because neither wanted to see him go.

Justin started to feel a little tired, so he laid his head on his arms resting on the table. After a couple of minutes, Brian noticed Justin and went to kneel beside him.

“Hey,” Brian whispered.

“Hmm,” Justin grumbled as he titled his head towards Brian.

“Want to go home?”

Justin looked up at Brian and then to Lindsay and Melanie, who had looks of concern of their faces.

“Are you sure?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, let’s go. You need your rest.”

Justin was groggily helped out of his chair and walked with Brian back outside to the car.

 

The next morning Justin woke up with severe stomach pains. Brian’s only option was to take him back to the hospital. After giving Justin some pain medication, that he wasn’t allergic to, they said he was okay to take home and he needed rest, mostly because he hadn’t been resting for the past few days.

“It’s my fault,” Brian said when they walked into the loft.

“What is?” Justin asked 

“I made you sick.”

Justin laughed.

“Don’t be silly Brian.”

“I’m being serious,” Brian argued, “the doctor said you haven’t been getting enough rest. That’s my fault. I’ve been making you go everywhere with me and move around. You should’ve been in bed.”

“Brian, I wanted to do things with you. And I’d rather get sick every once in a while than sit in bed all the time.”

“Well, you’re going to rest now if I can help it,” Brian semi-joked as he dragged Justin to the bed.

After making sure Justin was comfortable in his t-shirt and boxers, Brian climbed next to him, fully clothed, and pulled him close to spoon. Eventually, and against Brian’s will, he and Justin both fell asleep. When the phone rang and Brian woke up, he realized that they had slept about three hours. Before the ringing woke Justin, Brian pulled the phone to his ear.

“Hey,” Brian began.

“Hey, you and Justin coming to Woody’s?” Michael asked.

“No, not tonight. Justin went to the hospital earlier and they said he needed rest.”

Michael nodded, even though Brian couldn’t see him. “Well, I’ll see you later,” Michael responded.

“Yeah, bye.”

“Bye.”

After sitting in silence for a moment, Brian crawled back next to Justin.

“You can go by yourself if you want.”

“Shit Justin! You scared me!” Brian yelled and sat up.

“Sorry,” Justin apologized and then turned over.

“But you can go if you want. I can stay here, I’ll be fine.”

“No Justin, I want to be here with you.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Brian pulled Justin to him again and brushed Justin’s hair with his fingers. When he thought Justin was asleep, he began to sit up, ready to go to the kitchen. Brian had only sat up, when Justin pulled him back down and gripped onto him.

“What?” Brian laughed.

“Well, don’t leave.”

“I won’t.”

“Besides,” Justin started, “I wanted to ask you something.”

“What is it,” Brian replied when Justin turned on his side to face him.

“There is something that I always wanted, something I thought I could never have.”

“What?” Brian urged.

“Well, because I thought that I would never have a serious boyfriend before I died.”

Brian flinched slightly.

“Stop babbling and ask me.”

Justin’s breath became jagged with every heavy sigh he took.

“Will you marry me?”

Brian sat up with his mouth dropped open.

“Huh?” Brian asked before he could even register anything.

“I’m sorry Brian, I should’ve never asked,” Justin tried to assure as he sat up and rubbed Brian’s back.

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Yes,” Brian repeated and turned to look at Justin, “yes.”

“You sure,” Justin asked.

“Yes.”

Justin laughed.

“You want to marry me?”

“Yes, I want to marry you,” Brian assured, laughing as well.

Justin pushed Brian on the bed and crawled on top of him and attacked his mouth. Before Brian could protest Justin about undoing the buttons on his shirt, they were undone and Justin was now beginning to remove his pants.

In a flash, Justin had them both naked and was grinding their crotches together and kissing Brian at the same time. 

“Ahhh,” Brian moaned as Justin moved harder.

Justin only began to breathe heavier, and he moved his lips to Brian’s neck and attacked the soft skin there.

“Justin, I’m going to cum.”

Justin immediately sat up and grabbed the lube and a condom. He straddled Brian’s thighs and ripped the condom’s wrapper. When the condom was on Brian’s dick and it had a layer of lube on it. Justin put some lube on his hand and reached under his body, past his cock, and prepared himself.

“Fuck Justin, that is so hot,” Brian moaned.

Justin smiled and moved to ride Brian. When he was above Brian’s cock, Justin gripped it with his right had, while his left hand rested on Brian’s chest for balance. Justin slowly lowered himself onto Brian. When pain lessened, Justin rose up and slid back down.

Brian was amazed at the sensation. Justin was so tight and now Justin was taking him so deep. The faces that Justin was making drove Brian wild. Brian tried to pound into Justin when Justin lifted up, but he found that hard. Especially when he was thrashing at the pleasure that Justin was giving him.

When Brian thought that he might cum before Justin, he grabbed Justin’s swollen dick and began to stroke it. Justin’s eyes flew open and looked at his cock. He smiled when Brian sucked Justin’s precum from his fingers.

“Ride me,” Brian moaned.

Justin tilted his head back, he was so close. Justin rose up and Brian was able to push up small jabs. When the last one hit his prostate, Justin spilled his cum out of his cock and slid back down. Brian came when Justin slid down while Justin’s muscles contracted around his dick.

Before Brian had a reaction, Justin fell down on Brian and kissed him hard on the lips. After a few minutes of kissing, Justin reluctantly rolled off of Brian and lied on his back.

“That was awesome,” Justin said breathlessly.

“Yeah,” Brian responded turning over.

Justin laughed.

“I love you.”

“You too,” Brian laughed back, “and you wonder why I want to marry you.”

Justin rolled his eyes and Brian leaned in to kiss him. Justin snorted and smiled kissing Brian back.


	10. Ch. 10- Planning for the Future

[Justin’s](http://www.queerasfolk.wired-hub.net/screencaps/S4_E9/magicgallery/10.htm) hair in Season 4 is the best!

* * *

Justin walked into the diner and sat down at one of the booths. Within minutes, Debbie came and gave him some water.

“Hey baby,” Debbie smiled.

“Hey Deb,” Justin replied yawning.

“Where’s Brian?” 

“He’s at work. I’m supposed to be at home resting, but I got bored.”

“Why are you supposed to be resting?” Debbie asked sounding worried.

“I feel okay today, I’m just tired. It’s just that Brian’s being way too protective of me. If I get sick, he blames it on himself. I tell him I don’t give shit, and I don’t mind getting sick if I have a life. He just doesn’t like to listen to me.”

Debbie smiled.

“Are you hungry?”

“I just want some chicken soup with a turkey sandwich.”

“Okay, coming right up,” Debbie responded pinching Justin’s cheek.

Justin assumed Brian would be coming into the diner for lunch and that’s the real reason he was there. He wanted to catch Brian off guard. Brian had been avoiding talk about their wedding preparations. He even began to avoid it when Justin said he wanted to get married before they went to Philadelphia.

Debbie brought Justin his lunch and he began to eat. Justin looked up every time the bell over the door rang. About the fifth time it rang, Brian walked in. As soon as he saw Justin, he didn’t know whether to sit with him and hide his insecurities or to run away back to his office.

Seeing the look on Justin’s face, Brian decided to stay and eat with him. 

“Why aren’t you at home resting?” Brian asked before Justin could say anything.

“I wanted to get out,” Justin simply answered.

Brian was about to speak, but Debbie came over.

“You know, Brian, your boyfriend may be sick, but that gives you no right to hoard Justin in the loft.”

Brian opened his mouth to speak and closed it. He didn’t quite know what to say and he didn’t want to argue with Debbie.

“I’ll have a turkey sandwich,” Brian finally replied.

Debbie rolled her eyes and walked away.

“Brian,” Justin said really sadly.

“What?” Brian asked beginning to feel guilty.

“I asked you to marry me.”

“I know, I haven’t forgotten.”

“Then why aren’t we. Don’t you want to?” Justin was nearly in tears.

“Yes, I do, really. I guess I’m just nervous.”

“What is there to be nervous about? Are you afraid to tell your family or you friends? Don’t be, they’ll understand that we love each other. No one knows how long I’ll be around.”

“Shit Justin,” Brian sighed, “I don’t like to think about that.”

“Can we get married,” Justin begged, “Please?”

“Who’s getting married,” Debbie spoke, setting down Brian’s lunch.

“I’m asking Brian to marry me. Well, reminding him. He’s already said yes.”

Brian glared at Justin and prepared himself for a massive shriek.

“What!?” Debbie shouted.

Brian couldn’t help but smirk, but he quickly gained composure.

“You guys are getting married!” Debbie yelled.

“No,” Brian snapped and then looked at Justin’s face, “Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Then what is it?” Debbie asked coldly.

“He said yes, but now he won’t talk about it,” Justin stated.

Debbie sat down next to Brian and brushed his hair out of his eyes. 

“Are you nervous Brian?” Debbie question soothingly, “Are you worried?”

Brian turned to her and shrugged. Debbie looked over at Justin and winked. Justin smiled.

“I think you are afraid of getting married and worried that you will be like your parents marriage,” Debbie concluded.

Brian sighed and looked at her. He looked at Justin and he looked upset, worried, and maybe a little angry.

“I love you Brian,” Justin said as he reached across the table and grabbed Brian’s hand, “I just want to be happy.”

Brian felt like shit.

“What the hell,” Brian groaned, “Let’s get married.”

Debbie gave Brian a kiss on the cheek and then Justin jumped and Debbie moved out of the way so Justin could kiss Brian.

“Why don’t you come to my house Friday night and tell everyone the good news?” Debbie suggested.

Justin nodded and Brian also did, reluctantly.

 

Brian held Justin’s hand as they walked up the steps to Debbie’s house. After some mild discussion, they were ready to share their future plans with the rest of their family.

Debbie nearly killed them by hugging when she answered the door. She sat them down at the table and everyone was eyeing them.

“Deb, you didn’t tell them did you?” Justin asked feeling like he was in trouble.

“No, I just said that you had news for everyone.”

Brian looked around the table and saw Michael, Ben, Ted, Emmett, Melanie, Lindsay, Gus, Debbie, and Carl looking at him eagerly. Brian rolled his eyes and cleared his throat.

“About two weeks ago, Justin asked me to marry him,” Brian began and everyone had a shocked looked on their face that annoyed him, “I said yes.”

“Don’t forget the part where you were an ass,” Justin added.

Brian laughed.

“I was an ass, but we’re finally preparing.”

“Why in the hell are you getting married?” Michael asked with heat in his voice.

“It’s just been something I’ve always wanted and thought I never could, but now that I have serious boyfriend, I was hoping that I could at least be happy before I died.”

Brian put his hand on Justin’s leg.

“We’re also moving to Philadelphia,” Brian added.

“This is fucking bullshit,” Michael spat angrily.

Brian and Justin looked up at him, both with confused looks on their faces.

“Is there some sort of problem Michael?” Debbie asked.

“Yes there is and it’s Justin.”

“Me again?” 

“Yeah, you come here and play all innocent. I have cancer, help me Brian. Finally, after you have Brian wrapped around your finger, you haul him away to Philadelphia to marry him.”

“Michael,” Brian defended, “I’m the one that suggested that we go there. There’s a hospital there and they might be able to save Justin’s life.”

Michael rolled his eyes and stood up.

“Come on Ben.”

“Congratulations,” Ben said apologetically.

Brian and Justin nodded.

After Michael left, they were jumped on with questions and comments. A lot were congratulations and wishful sentiments and others were saying to ignore Michael.

Brian put his arm around Justin and told him to forget what Michael said. He told him Michael had a hard time letting go of things and accepting them. And if there came a day he would choose Justin before Michael without even thinking. Justin gave Brian a kiss and forgot about Michael and focused on his wedding.


	11. Ch. 11- Happy for Now

This is dedicated to my sister (half of twins) Nicole because it's her favorite of my stories. I love you!

* * *

Justin and Brian were sitting on the couch looking through wedding magazines. Brian told Justin that they could do whatever Justin wanted. Justin asked for something simpler because the only friends they had were Brian's and his family.

Michael had yet to call Brian or come seem him, no to mention apologize. Ben told them that he felt really bad and that he was sorry. Justin had a hard time believing that.

“How about these?” Brian asked knocking Justin out of his thoughts.

“Hm?” Justin asked looking up.

“These flowers do you like them. They can be decorative or centerpieces, whatever you want Justin.”

“Whatever you want, too, Brian.”

Brian smiled lovingly at him and leaned forward to give him a kiss.

“Are you going to invite anyone else?”

“Who else would I invite Brian?”

“Anyone besides Deb and Carl, the Munchers, Ted and Emmett, and Ben and what’s-his-face.”

“Plus Gus and some might be bringing dates.”

Brian rolled his eyes.

“I know.”

“Brian,” Justin started, “I haven’t even seen anyone from my family, besides Jon, for years. After I die, you can tell them I said ‘fuck you.’”

“Justin, you’re not going to die. At least not soon.”

Justin sighed and hid rolling his eyes from Brian. Brian scooted closer to Justin and scooped him up in his arms.

 

Brian sat down next to Cynthia and gave her a note. After reading it she turned to Brian.

“You’re leaving,” she shouted, smacking him with the piece of paper.

Brian grinned.

“Yes, I’m taking Justin to hospital so they can find a cure for his cancer.”

Cynthia sighed.

“How are you going to work?”

“Well,” Brian sighed, “I have it worked out with Marty. I’m going to be doing a lot of internet type work. I have a small apartment in Philadelphia already and I’m planning on having a fax, computer, several phones; the works. No need to worry Cynthia. You’re going to get a raise if you decided to personally help me with things.”

Cynthia smiled brightly and hugged Brian.

“You find a cure for him. He does not deserve to die.”

“I will.”

 

Justin walked out of the dressing area and spun around slowly so Brian could get a good look at him in his tux.

“Do you like it?” Justin asked, fishing for compliments.

“You look amazing,” Brian concluded, looking amazing himself, walking over to Justin and wrapping his arms around him.

“You look hot.”

Brian laughed.

“I know.”

Justin playfully swatted him on the arm and turned to look in the mirror.

“Are you really going to go through with it?”

“What?”

“I overheard Deb and girls talking about you being an asshole and they never thought you’d get married. And here you are, marrying me. I hope for the right reasons.”

“It is for the right reasons,” Brian assured, “I love and I want to be with you. I want you to be around for as long as you can. Whatever they said does not mean anything. They don’t know how I’m feeling right now.”

Justin nodded and smiled lightly and they continued to look for tuxedoes.

 

Emmett walked into the room and clapped his hands.

“Isn’t it fabulous!?”

Justin grinned.

“It’s great Emmett, thanks.”

Emmett smiled lunged forward to hug Justin. Brian stood aside and was attacked, to his surprise, by Emmett as well.

“Oh my god, tomorrow, you two will be married.”

Brian sighed and took another deep breath.

“I’m okay.”

Emmett laughed.

“You’ll be fine honey. Just relax and think about being with Justin. You have been for the past few months anyway. What’s the difference?”

Justin laughed loudly and Brian laughed nervously.

‘Just breathe,’ he thought.

 

Everyone clapped when they walked into the reception room. Justin was beaming. Brian looked a little sick, but happy nonetheless. After everyone engulfed them with hugs, kisses and everything else, Brian and Justin were able to sit at their table as a newlywed couple.

Michael was sitting in the corner glaring at them. Ben told them that he was forcing him to come to the wedding, even if it meant carrying him there.

Everyone sat and ate their dinners. Justin began to feel a little nauseated so he stopped eating. After Brian noticed, he helped Justin to the bathroom so he could throw up if he needed to.

About fifteen minutes later they came back out of the bathroom and sat back down.

“I hope that they can find a cure. No one should be sick like him, especially on their wedding day,” Debbie told Carl and he nodded in agreement.

When a half-an-hour had passed, Justin started feeling a little better and asked Brian to dance with him.

They got up and started to dance to the music that was playing. Brian pulled his arms tightly around Justin and wrapped his arms around Brian. They got lost in each other and didn’t realize that they ended up dancing for almost twenty minutes straight, until Debbie came up to them.

“Hey,” she spoke quietly.

Both Brian and Justin looked at her with dazed looks in their eyes. Justin turned his face into Brian’s chest and Brian spoke.

“Hey.”

“Can I get a dance in here?”

Justin looked up and smiled at Debbie. Brian looked at Justin for approval.

“Go ahead Brian, I need to sit down and drink some water.”

Brian kissed him and watched him as he went to sit down. Ted and Emmett came to talk to him. Brian turned back to Debbie and started to dance with her.

“Is he just tired?”

“I guess,” Brian mumbled, “I was up all night thinking, so I guess he was too.”

Debbie sighed.

“I’m proud of you Brian.”

Brian smiled.

“Thanks Debbie.”

“And don’t you listen to that son of mine. He’s jealous and hard headed. He’ll get over it, he always does.”

“I know. I guess I’m glad Justin wanted a smaller wedding, neither of us would’ve had a best man.”

Debbie smiled sadly and pulled Brian to her and continued to dance.

“Take care of him, you hear me?”

“Yes mother.”


	12. Ch. 12- Searching for Hope

Okay, Natalie: The Computer Geek came through today. I’ve added some of Gio’s icons in my profile. Click on my name if you want to see them.

* * *

Justin put the last shirt in his suitcase. He zipped it up and carried to the door where the other luggage waited. He walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. Justin just could not believe that they were finally going to Philadelphia. Even though he knew that Brian was excited about the doctors finding a cure; he knew in his heart that there wasn’t going to be. He was happy about spending his last days in Brian’s care.

Just then, Brian came in. He walked over to Justin and gave him a quick kiss before walking over to a box, lifting it up and carrying it down to the moving truck. 

When Justin had everything they needed packed and Brian had it down in the truck, they both packed into the jeep and headed to Philadelphia.

 

The ride would’ve been quicker if they didn’t have to keep right in front of Ted and Emmett in the slow moving truck. Brian convinced them to come along, as long as he bought them each first-class tickets for the trip home.

When they finally arrived at their apartment building, Brian walked Justin immediately upstairs and laid him down on the mattress that was already in their bedroom. Brian came back down and he, Ted, and Emmett filled the apartment with their things. 

“Do you want us to help you set everything up?” Emmett asked worriedly.

“Or at least unpack a little,” Ted added.

“No, but if you guys could drive the truck to the moving place here in Pittsburgh, that’d be great.”

Ted and Emmett nodded. They each gave Brian a hug and left the apartment.

Brian sighed when they shut the door. He gently walked into his room and sat down on the mattress. He found himself watching Justin sleep. Brian carefully began to pet Justin, only part of him wanting Justin to wake up.

After about ten minutes, Justin blinked his eyes open and stared at Brian.

“What?” Brian laughed lightly.

“I’m not a dog.”

Brian nodded and bent down to kiss him. Justin kissed him back softly. 

“Are you too tired to fuck?” Brian asked trying not to sound annoyed, especially since his lover was terminally ill.

Justin wanted to be happy and more than that, he wanted Brian to be happy.

“I feel just fine Brian,” Justin responded, trying to sound cheerful and healthy, “I was just waking up.”

Brian smiled and lied down next to Justin, taking off his coat at the same time. He wrapped his arms around Justin and pulled him in for a kiss. Justin desperately tried to be enthusiastic with Brian, kissing him back frantically. Brian took this as a note to go faster. He stood up and stripped off the rest of his clothes. As soon as he was naked, he removed all of Justin’s clothes as well.

Justin spread his legs and Brian crawled in between them. Brian began to kiss Justin wildly and Justin tried his hardest to keep up. 

Before Justin could catch up even kissing Brian, he already had a condom on and was preparing Justin’s hole. Justin tried to enjoy the feeling of Brian fingering him, but he was still exhausted. Brian looked up at him and Justin gave him a bright smile, signaling him to go on.

Brian pushed in slowly and Justin let out a gasp of breath. When Brian thought Justin was ready, he looked down and Justin just nodded. Brian pulled out again and pushed back in. Justin whimpered in slight pain, but Brian only thought it was lust.

Soon, Justin realized Brian was pounding hard into his ass. Justin let out a groan, this time from pleasure, when Brian’s cock hit his prostate. Before Justin could get adjusted and able to control himself, Brian was jerking him off. Then Justin came, and it was fine. Brian let out a heaving grunt and fell on top of Justin. 

Brian pulled out of him and lied on his side. Brian leaned forward and gave Justin a soft kiss. 

“That was great,” Justin moaned when Brian broke the kiss. Brian simply smiled at him. He then stood up and walked into the living room naked. He came back with a blanket and lied next to Justin, again. He carefully covered them both up. Justin crawled over and cuddled next to Brian. He was going to miss him so much.

 

Brian led Justin into the large hospital. He left Justin standing by the wall as he went to the front desk. He told them they were here to see a doctor about a cancer patient. Justin could see her nod and pick up the phone. 

Soon, a man in a white coat came into the waiting room and talked with the nurse. She pointed over to Brian and Justin, and he walked over.

“Which one of you is Mr. Taylor?” the doctor asked.

“That’s me,” Justin answered.

The doctor looked questionably at Brian.

“I’m Brian Kinney. We spoke on the phone,” Brian clarified.

“Oh, yes, Mr. Kinney. You’re Mr. Taylor’s husband.”

Brian nodded and the doctor turned back towards Justin.

“Mr. Taylor, we have great hope for you.”

Justin merely nodded and followed the doctor out of the waiting room and into the hall. Brian squeezed Justin’s hand for support and comfort. Justin didn’t feel nervous at all, he knew what was going to happen. 

The doctor opened up the door to the examining room and they walked in. He picked up a file and began to read all of the tests that they would to see if they could figure out some form of treatment that might help Justin.

Brian listened enthusiastically; he would do anything to keep his husband around for a second longer. Justin sighed and tried to be happy. Maybe something would work.

“You see Mr. Taylor,” the doctor said, interrupting his thoughts, “There are a lot of things we can do. That is why we have so much hope for you.”

Justin smiled and nodded. Too bad he didn’t have any hope.


	13. Ch. 13- Time's Up

The heart monitor was beeping steadily as Justin rested in bed. Brian was at his side, holding his hand. Justin gripped it. He couldn’t believe that he was going to go. Of course, he didn’t know when, but he knew it would be soon. He looked over at his husband tried to suppress the tears that filed his eyes. Justin was in love with him so much and he really wanted to spend a long life with him. It broke his heart knowing he couldn’t. It was moments like this that made him sad.

It was moments like this that he was going to cherish before he died.

“Hey,” Brian said suddenly with a muffled voice. 

“Hey,” Justin purred.

“How are you feeling?” Brian asked as he sat up a little and checked over his husband.

“A little tired, but okay,” Justin lied.

“Great.”

Brian yawned and laid his head back down on Justin’s bed.

“The doctor said we could put a bed in here.”

“I know,” Brian replied yawning, “I just want to be near you.”

Justin laughed and pulled Brian up for a kiss. That’s when the door opened.

“Justin, how are you feeling today,” Dr. Henry asked when he was in the room.

“I’m great,” Justin lied again. He really wished Brian and him could go home to their apartment so they could spend his last days in bed. 

“Okay, today we’re only doing one test. So after that, you can rest.”

Justin nodded.

“When’s the test?”

“In about 45 minutes, I’ll come back to get you then.”

Dr. Henry gave them one last smile and left the room.

“Are you ready?” Brian asked.

“Sure,” Justin sighed. He really didn’t see the point.

 

A few hours later, Justin crawled back into his bed. He was extremely exhausted from the tests and all he wanted to do was sleep. Brian sat next to him on the bed and gently played with his hair. Brian then turned on the TV and they started to watch it. Justin was enjoying his time with Brian.

“Brian,” Justin began, “Can I have my sketchbook?”

“Sure.”

Brian went over to Justin’s bag and pulled out his sketchpad. 

“Here,” Brian said when he handed it to Justin, “Are you going to draw something?”

“Duh,” Justin teased.

Brian laughed.

“I’ll just watch TV. Tell me if you need anything.”

“I will.”

Brian and nodded and pulled a chair next to the bed. Justin opened up his sketchpad. He pretended to draw for a few minutes. When Brian seemed to be not paying attention, he flipped to the next page and started to write his letter.

_Brian,_

_I love you more than anything in my life. That is why it’s so hard to leave you. I promise that I’m happy and I’m dying in peace. I don’t want to leave you, but I have to. I tired of trying. I’ve been fighting for too long. I hope you don’t think I’m giving up too easily, I’m not._

_You had cancer, you know. It’s fucking hard. You can’t control anything that happens. I’m glad you brought me here and I’m glad you’re doing everything in your power to make me better. That’s why I feel so bad for leaving. I love you Brian, but it’s time for me to go. I couldn’t find a way to tell you that. I just wanted our last days together to be happy._

_Although, I wish we could’ve been home. But as long as I’m with you, I’m happy._

_When you read this, I’ll be dead. Remember, I’m not giving up. I know I’m going. It’s going to happen and no one can stop it. I wish I was healthy and we could spend the rest of our lives together, but we both knew that wasn’t going to happen when we started this relationship._

_When I’m gone, I need you to do me a favor. I want you to personally tell my parents of my death. But I want you to do it in at least a month after my funeral. I want them to feel like shit. I also want you to tell everyone I said goodbye. Everyone, even Michael, and tell them I love them. Promise them that I won’t forget them._

_I just want you to know that I’m crying right now. I really don’t want to leave. I want to be around with you forever, but I’m dying and I can’t stop it. I hope you can realize that. I’m not abandoning you or leaving you on purpose. I love you, more than anything. Just please, please remember that._

_I love you. Don’t forget me._

_Your husband,  
Justin_

Justin gently tore out the page. He wiped his eyes with back of his hand and looked over at Brian. He was asleep now. Justin leaned over and gave Brian one last kiss. 

“I love you,” he whispered.

Justin lied back down and closed his eyes. He silently said goodbye to everyone else and willingly feel asleep knowing that he wouldn’t wake up.

 

Two hours later, Brian woke up. He saw the TV was still on and turned it off. He looked at Justin; he looked like he was sleeping.

He stood up and gave him a kiss on the forehead. Brian backed away immediately, he was really cold.

‘No,’ Brian thought. 

He looked up at the heart monitor. It was a thin line. Brian’s gaze became hazy and he almost passed out. He sat back down in his chair and grabbed Justin’s hand, which was really cold as well.

“Justin,” Brian said with his voice cracking, “Justin.”

Brian shook him gently. Justin’s lifeless body rocked back and forth. He grabbed the sides of Justin’s face and kissed him. 

“Justin,” Brian sobbed, “Don’t leave me.”

Brian began to violently cry and shake Justin.

“Wake up, Justin!” he screamed, “Wake up!”

Brian sat back down and buried his face in his hands.

“Don’t leave me,” he sobbed.

Just then, Dr. Henry walked into the room. He gasped and walked straight over to Justin.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Kinney. He must have died in his sleep.”

Brian looked up at him with blood-shot eyes.

“Can I stay with him for a little while?”

“You can take all the time you need,” Dr. Henry agreed and left the room.

Brian looked up and Justin. He looked peaceful.

“I love you,” Brian whispered.

Brian then noticed something in Justin’s hand. He removed it. After reading it was for him, he opened it. Brian read it really slow and took in every word. He couldn’t stop crying when Justin said he wished they were home. 

After Brian chokingly read the whole note, he folded it up and put it in his bag. He sat back down next to Justin and grabbed his cold hand.

“I’ll never forget you,” Brian told him, “Everyday for the rest of my life, I’ll think about. I’ll never love one person the same. I promise we’ll be together again one day.”

Brian rested his head on Justin’s arm. He never wanted to leave his husband.

* * *

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Really, I am!


	14. Ch. 14- Confronting the Past

I want to thank everyone who had the balls to read this story. A lot of you wanted me to magically keep Justin alive. If I felt like changing my original idea, I would’ve considered it, but I didn’t. So, I’m sorry. I killed Justin, whom you all know I love. So, obviously this wasn’t out of hatred. I’m also sorry this story had to be anti-Michael, it just came to me. Michael’s closure in this story will be mild, but hopefully enough. I’m going to make it obvious that he didn’t win. So thanks again to those of you that like this story. Please review though, I want to know how I did with the closure in this last chapter.

* * *

_Two months later._

Brian drove his car down the suburban streets. He sighed heavily when he found his destination. 

Justin had given him his parent’s address and the orders of telling them that he had died. Brian pulled in front of the house and turned off the engine. He sighed again and opened the door. 

Walking up the walkway, Brian couldn’t help but notice that two cars were parked in the driveway. He hoped that meant that both of his parents were home.

He hesitated slightly, but he knocked on the door. After waiting a minute, he Brian decided to try the doorbell. Sure enough, only after a few seconds, a teenage girl answered the door.

“Hi,” the girl greeted, but it sounded more like a question.

“Hi,” Brian smiled, “Is Jennifer or Craig Taylor home?”

The girl nodded quickly and turned around.

“Mom!” she yelled back into the house.

Brian waited silently for Justin’s mother. 

“Yes,” Jennifer asked when she came to the door.

“Hello, Mrs. Taylor. I’m a friend of Justin’s.”

“I’m sorry, but we no longer have anything to do with him,” Jennifer said quickly and began to shut the door.

Brian put his hand up and stopped it.

“Listen lady, I know you don’t like your son, but I have something to tell you.”

Jennifer rolled her eyes.

“What then?”

“Is it okay if I can come in so I can tell you and your husband at the same time?”

Jennifer to a deep breath and held the door open and let Brian come in. She walked with him into the living room and sat down on the couch. Brian took an empty chair. He looked across the room and saw someone sitting on another chair with a newspaper covering the top half of his body.

“Craig,” Jennifer called.

Craig folded down the top half of the paper and looked at Brian.

“Who’s he?” Craig asked rather rudely.

“Brian Kinney,” Brian answered, “I’m here to talk to you about your son.”

“What has he done now?” Craig asked annoyed.

“Nothing,” Brian couldn’t help but snap. 

Jennifer sat up straight and looked at Brian. 

“Then, what did you need to talk to us about?”

“First off, he’s my husband.”

Jennifer stiffened and smiled slightly despite herself, whereas Craig sat up immediately and walked over to Brian.

“I don’t need another faggot in my house!”

“Mr. Taylor please, I’m just sending you a message. I’m not here to make you think about your son’s sexuality.”

Craig growled and sat back down in his chair.

“Okay,” Brian cleared his throat, “As you know, Justin was suffering from cancer.”

“Was?” Jennifer suddenly asked, “He’s cured?”

Brian shook his head.

Jennifer stood up quickly and left the room. Brian could hear her crying in the kitchen.

“When did he die?” 

Brian turned to look at Craig who had a hard face. He could see only a little sadness in his eyes.

“Two months ago.”

“And you’re just now telling us?”

“It’s what Justin wanted.”

Jennifer came back from the kitchen and sat down on the couch.

“So, when are we going to start planning for the funeral?”

“Jennifer?” Craig interrupted, “Mr. Kinney just told me that Justin died two months ago.”

Jennifer looked at Brian in disbelief.

“You already had his funeral?”

Brian nodded, “It was beautiful. My family, who – by the way – fell in love with Justin, was there and we all gave him a special ceremony. He’s buried at Oak Grove Cemetery. I picked out a private spot and I’ve already bought the spot next to his so I can be buried next to him when I die.”

“How long were you two married when he died?” Jennifer asked.

“Just a few months, but we were seeing each other for almost a year.”

Jennifer nodded and looked over a Craig.

“This is all your fault,” she spat, “You were the one who told him to get out of the house. You were the one who told him that I wouldn’t love him. Craig, I never stopped loving him. Now, I’ve missed his wedding, his death. I’ve missed his entire life. And you know what; it’s all because you were a cowardly asshole who could accept that his son was gay.”

Craig put his face in his hands and stayed silent. 

Jennifer looked up and Brian.

“How did you meet Justin?”

“At the hospital, I was there because my son was getting his tonsils out. Justin and I clicked. Soon, I moved him out of his shitty apartment and made him quit his job. He moved in with me and I took care of him. He eventually asked me to marry him and I said yes. Then we moved to Philadelphia to see it we could find a cure. He died before we even finished with the tests.”

Jennifer whipped a tear from here eye. 

“Can I see his grave?”

Brian nodded slowly.

“Let’s do it next weekend, I have some things to do.”

Jennifer nodded and smiled sadly. She stood up and walked Brian to the door. She gave him a small hug and Brian left out the door.

 

On his way home, Brian decided to stop by the diner. He couldn’t help but smirk when he realized Debbie wasn’t working. He walked to the back booth and sat down. 

After the waitress came and took his order and eventually brought it to him, he was calm and happy that he could relax alone.

“Brian?” someone suddenly called. Brian looked up and saw Michael heading towards his table.

“What Michael?”

“What, can’t I sit with you?” Michael asked hurt.

“Mikey, I was just hoping I could be alone.”

“You have to be over Justin by now?”

Brian glared at Michael.

“No, I’m not over him and, guess what, I never will be.”

Michael rolled his eyes. 

“So, where were you earlier?”

“Confronting Justin’s parents.”

“What for?”

“Justin wanted me to. I basically told them he was dead and Jennifer did all the yelling for me. Apparently Justin’s dad told him that him and his mom didn’t love him anymore and kicked him out. But Jennifer seemed to still love Justin and she also was hurt that she didn’t get to see him when got married and died.”

“I always said Justin was a bad person.”

“Shut the fuck up Michael,” Brian snapped, “I didn’t confirm that at all.”

“You barely knew him.”

“Michael, listen to me. Are you listening? I fucking loved him. He was my husband. He died. I’m upset. Get that through your fucking head.”

“He was the one that talked you into marrying you.”

“Have I ever done anything that I didn’t want to do?”

Michael shook his head.

“Right,” Brian nodded, “I did it willingly. I loved him.”

Brian stood up and placed a twenty on the table. Michael looked up at him.

“I just wish that one day, you can just be happy for me. It’s too late for this, Justin’s gone. But you see this,” Brian pointed at his ring, “he’ll always be my husband.”

Michael watched as Brian left him sitting alone at the diner and thinking about Justin.

 

Brian drove through tears. He came to his turned and pulled in to the Oak Grove Cemetery. He found his usual parking spot. 

Brian slowly walked towards that secluded grave. He had hired a landscaper to keep up Justin’s grave, having it green and full of flowers at all time. 

As soon as Brian came to the grave he dropped to his knees. He leaned forward and kissed head stone.

“Hi baby,” he whispered, “I visited you parents today. Your mom was pretty upset. I think we were wrong about her. I’m bringing her to see you next weekend. I also talked to Michael again. I think he’s almost coming around. It’ll probably take longer.”

Brian let his fingers trace the writing engraved in the stone.

“There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought about you. Hell, there hasn’t been a minute.”

Brian let his eyes fill with tears and he silently sobbed.

“It takes every ounce of my energy not to end it everyday. I just want to be with you so bad. But I won’t because I know that if I killed myself you’d kill me.”

Brian looked at his watch and frowned.

“I have to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He kissed his fingers and pressed against the front of the stone. Brian walked up and headed back towards his car. The kiss still on the stone, joined with dozens of others.

**_Justin Taylor  
1983-2005  
Beloved Husband and Friend_ **


	15. Epilogue

  
Author's notes: Just a song I wanted to add to the end of this fic. I know it's been a while since I've updated this, but I've been wanting to do this for a while. :) Loves you all!  


* * *

You left me with goodbye and open arms  
A cut so deep I don't deserve  
You were always invincible in my eyes  
the only thing against us now is time

Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you,  
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true  
If I only had one more day

I lie down and blind myself with laughter  
A quick fix of hope is what I'm needing  
And now i wish that i could turn back the hours  
But i know i just don't have the power

Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you,  
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true  
If I only had one more day

I'd jump at the chance  
We'd drink and we'd dance  
And I'd listen close to your every word,  
As if its your last, I know its your last,  
Cause today, oh, you're gone

Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without,  
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's ture  
If I only had one more day

Like sand on my feet  
The smell of sweet perfume  
You stick to me forever,baby  
and I wish you didn't go,  
I wish you didn't go  
I wish you didn't go away  
To touch you again,  
With life in your hands  
It couldn't be any harder

_Could it be Any Harder_  
 **The Calling**


End file.
